The Power of Rising in Age

Words have power.

They shape what we expect, what we believe is possible, and even how we see ourselves.

That is especially true of the words we use to talk about age.

For most of our lives, women are surrounded by messages that tell us growing older is something to fear, fight, hide, or apologize for. Long before we reach a milestone birthday or notice our first gray hair, we have already been taught what “old” is supposed to mean.

• Less visible.

• Less relevant.

• Less attractive.

• Less capable.

• Less valuable.

After hearing those messages year after year, it is easy to begin carrying them as our own—even when they were never true to begin with.

That is why I choose different words.

I don’t think of myself as simply growing older. I think of myself as Rising in Age.

I first coined this phrase in 2017, after cofounding Women with Dynamic Purpose. I wanted women to have a way of talking about age that reflected possibility, wisdom, growth, and power—not decline.

“Rising” felt like the right word because rising is active.

When we rise, we continue becoming. We gain perspective. We use what we have learned. We make choices with greater intention. We find our voices, and sometimes we finally give ourselves permission to use them.

But my decision to think differently about age did not happen overnight.

The Messages Begin Early

When I was a little girl growing up in Brooklyn, I remember watching an episode of a television show about a woman turning 30. She was devastated because she believed she was becoming old.

Thirty!

I was only a child, but the message was already being planted: getting older was bad, and women were supposed to be afraid of it.

Years later, when I was in my early thirties, a boss told me that turning 50 felt like a black cloth coming down over his face. To him, it meant there was less life ahead, and that frightened him. At the time, I did not fully understand what he meant. But his words stayed with me.

Then, at 33, a coworker told me I needed to stop trying to act young. According to her, I was older now, and I needed to accept it.

I was 33 years old—and apparently, I was already supposed to begin shrinking my life.

It seemed that every conversation about aging was attached, with super glue, to something negative.

Even well-meaning advice could carry a warning. My mother told me, “Take care of your skin now for later.” It was practical advice, and I am grateful for it. But underneath so many messages aimed at women is the suggestion that our value is connected to how successfully we can hide the evidence of time.

By the time I reached 40, I caught myself falling into the same trap. I had started using the language of growing old before I had ever stopped to question what that language was teaching me to believe.

Growing Older Is Not the Problem

Let me be clear: Rising in Age is not about pretending we don’t age.

Growing older is a natural part of being alive. Our bodies change. Our lives shift. We may experience loss, health concerns, ageism, caregiving responsibilities, career transitions, or uncertainty about what comes next.

Changing our language does not make those realities disappear.

But language can influence how we meet them.

We all say we want to live long, full, fruitful lives. Yet the very process required to have a long life—growing older—is treated as though it is the worst possible outcome.

This contradiction is especially damaging for women.

We are expected to look young regardless of our age. We can be quietly pushed aside in professional spaces to make room for someone younger. We hear that older women become invisible, as if our ideas, experience, creativity, and leadership somehow come with an expiration date.

If we hear these messages often enough, we may begin limiting ourselves before anyone else has the chance to do it.

We stop raising our hands.

We talk ourselves out of new experiences.

We decide it is too late to change careers, begin a business, write a book, travel, fall in love, make new friends, or discover a new purpose.

We allow a number to tell us what we can no longer do.

That is the definition I want us to challenge.

We Have the Power to Define This Chapter

I am 63 as I write these words, and I can honestly say that I do not spend much time thinking about my age.

That is not denial. It is a decision.

I watched so many people obsess over age that I chose to focus my attention somewhere else—not on pretending to be 20 or 30, but on waking up, putting one foot in front of the other, and continuing to pursue the goals and dreams that matter to me.

None of us has a crystal ball. None of us knows exactly how much time we have.

Why would we use the time we do have convincing ourselves that our opportunity to make an impact has passed?

I firmly believe that how we speak to ourselves affects how we experience our lives. If we continually describe ourselves as too old, too late, or past our prime, those words can slowly become instructions.

But we can give ourselves different instructions.

We can tell ourselves that we are still learning.

Still creating.

Still contributing.

Still changing.

Still becoming.

Still rising.

Every year I've gained in age, I have also gained experiences, lessons, stories, relationships, and a deeper understanding of myself. I have continued to work, travel, try new things, build new ideas, and imagine new possibilities.

Why would I define that as decline?

To me, Rising in Age means recognizing everything time has added to us—not simply focusing on what it may have changed.

A Different Conversation About Age

Whenever I share the phrase “Rising in Age” with women, something happens.

They smile.

Their posture shifts.

They seem to recognize themselves in it.

That reaction reminds me that many of us have been waiting for a new way to describe this part of our lives. We don’t want to deny our age. We simply don’t want our age used to diminish us.

Rising in Age is not just a more positive phrase. It is an invitation to decide for ourselves what this season will mean.

Life is a glorious gift. Continuing to create, innovate, participate, and dream is how we choose to engage with that gift.

This article is only the beginning of a larger conversation. In the months ahead, I want us to explore how our thoughts, language, and choices can help us approach age with greater confidence, curiosity, and intention.

For now, I invite you to begin by noticing the words you use.

When you hear yourself saying, “I’m too old for that,” pause and ask:

Is that true—or is it something I was taught to believe?

And the next time someone talks about “getting old,” you don’t have to correct them. You don’t even have to explain your philosophy.

Simply remind yourself:

I'm not getting older, I’m rising.

Author,

Cat Valyi